How does grief influence our energies?
Just like we have our very own way of resonating with emotions of life, we also have a very personal way of dealing with those we associate with death. However, at the energetic level, we can identify some patterns of imbalances that grief may trigger.
By understanding how loss of our most beloved relationships and connections manifest in ourselves, we can also find cues to restore balance physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically towards a new harmony.
Using the chakras as our foundation, we can navigate the imbalances that we meet in ourselves as we’re grieving to move towards a new state of balance while honouring our loss.
As in pretty much any healing journey, the first imbalance that we encounter is usually around our Root Chakra, Muladhara chakra. The root chakra as its name indicates, is associated with our foundation system which we may see as our survival instinct. It is directly related to our sense of safety and security along with the fulfillment of our basic needs and our trust towards Life.
When we experience loss it is the end of Life as we knew it, our foundation is shaken which challenges our sense of trust and safety.
We no longer trust that Life can go on with our needs being met (emotional, physical…) after such a loss.
Eg. How will I keep going without them? How will I ever feel safe/supported/secure from now on?
Muladhara Chakra connects us to the Earth drawing vital energy up through our legs from our secondary chakras located on the sole of our feet, allowing us to feel steady and grounded so we can then build on that base with our other chakras but also develop a sense of connection and belonging.
When it is stressed by big changes such as loss or accumulations, the flow of vital energy that is drawn to the body from the Earth to then feed the other chakras is disturbed and we start disconnecting from ourselves and others.
We may feel isolated, misunderstood, anchor-less.
We experience a general lack of energy, we may develop some anxiety, start doubting ourselves, but also experience mental lethargy and spaciness, incapacity of inner stillness, poor general health, we lead our life from a feeling of scarcity...
Grief like any other emotions must be processed through our body and chakras so we can maintain our natural flow of vital energy, preserve our health and a balance in our lives.
When the emotion is perceived as « too difficult to handle » we may unconsciously repress it as a defense mechanism. Repressed emotions however do not go away and naturally dissipate, they get stored in our body creating energy blocks and imbalances until we’re ready to process them.
Accumulations of stagnant energy will then manifest physically through diseases and aches but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
When loss occurs, Muladhara Chakra is shaken and we feel unrooted. We might find it difficult to honour our physical needs, the « structure » of our body might hurt (bones, skeletal structure, hips, legs, feet, base of the spine, lower back, teeth…) and the whirlwind of life may put pressure on us to return to balance.
Eg. I have to go to work! I need to look after the kids!… (we indulge in fear and worry responses when having imbalances around our root chakra.
To start processing our grief, we may turn to religious practices, mourning rituals,… again we go back to the overall « structure » that’s built up around us to re-create a certain sense of safety and release stored emotions, acknowledging this traumatic event.
There isn’t any right process or time to process our grief, it all starts with building awareness around our inner process so we can then find appropriate ways of releasing stored emotions and restore a healthy flow energy within ourselves.
So we can start facing our inner process and creating safety to feel whatever needs to be felt and restore harmony, we can support our root chakra through grounding practices. As we learn to reconnect to our body, we will gently invite imbalances to get back to the surface and be released.
Acknowledge your inner response to the event through any ritual or practice which resonates with you whenever you feel ready to do so.
Do a grounding meditation to reconnect with yourself, your body and emotions. You may use some essential oils to enhance the process such as cedar wood essential oil which is very grounding.
Connect with nature to balance your root chakra, regulate your nervous system, strengthen your sense of connection with the world
Practice some gentle yoga poses such as child’s pose, corpse pose, mountain pose… to bring yourself back to the here and now while working on the body mind connection.
Get some support ! While your sense of safety and security is being challenged, having someone that can create the right space for you to feel and release your emotions will not only speed up your recovery process but also strengthen your sense of trust and belonging.
As we saw in the first section with muladhara chakra, experiencing loss knocks us off our feet challenging our foundations along with disturbing the flow of vital energy circulating through our body.
Once we restore balance around our root chakra, we restore safety within ourselves which includes the required safety and presence to be able to feel the unprocessed energies (with our second chakra).
The second chakra, Svadhisthana chakra, is a instinctual centre of consciousness like the root chakra. It deals with our emotional capacity to experience pleasure, relinquish control, make choices and create something unique and personal. Its state reflects our relationships with others and with ourselves.
When grieving, we tend to disconnect from ourselves and others but also from our capacity to experience any form of pleasure while we may additionally deal with feelings of impotence.
Eg. I feel guilty to laugh and enjoy my time because I’ve just lost someone in my family and it doesn’t seem appropriate.
We may store some anger in our lower back which causes some physical pain there, we may have some digestive issues due to repressed guilt/fear/anger/unwillingness to move forward…
Grief comes with a whole range of emotions which we might not be aware of at first and may unconsciously repress, generating imbalances in our Sacral Chakra.
As a result of the imbalances around Svadhisthana chakra all our emotions may intertwine causing us to feel emotionally unstable, isolated and unable to connect intimately (with ourselves and others). It is not rare to indulge in addictive behaviours in an attempt to numb whatever is going on within.
Eg. I drink alcohol and go out late ever night so I am not sitting with myself « feeling ».
Being aware of these mechanisms, we can focus on releasing accumulated energies holistically around the Sacral Chakra to restore a healthier relationship with ourselves and opening the doors to deeper connections, creativity and pleasure.
Where does it hurt? Focus on releasing stagnant energy with movement, let it flow, danse it away…
Connect with your emotions through any creative form such as writing, singing, painting… Express whatever needs to be felt in any form that feels right.
Eg. You may write a letter to the person you’ve lost telling them how you feel. You may also write to the universe expressing how angry, sad or guilty you feel… All of your feelings are valid !
Connect to the element of water which is associate with the Sacral Chakra. Swim, sit by a river, have a conscious cleansing shower, cry…
Listen to music, watch a film, read a poem… ! It is sometimes difficult to identify what we feel, let alone understanding why we feel it. To process stagnant energy you don’t really need to understand the why behind it all but you need to feel it to release it. If expressing through any form of art feels too early for now, you may connect to someone else’s creations and feel ! This will help reconnecting with your own emotions but also reconnecting with others. ….
How could we talk about grieving without talking about Anahata Chakra - our Heart Chakra?
Anahata in Sanskrit translates to « uninjured » - « unhurt » - and just by the definition of being « unhurt » we understand why loss and grief may create imbalances around this energy center.
Centre of empathy, compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love, Anahata Chakra is the link between our spiritual and earthly chakras. It governs feelings of peace, gratitude as well as those of change and transformation - and we know that loss is intrinsically transformative.
When loss occurs, our heart chakra gets blocked until we can invite some form of peace and acceptance back in to restore our energy flow.
Thinking of our Heart Chakra we straight away think of Love and what is grief if not an expression of love? That’s how we open the door to the transformation our loss has brought in.
What wouldn’t we do for Love? We may even willingly endure pain in the name of Love, because through Love we find the expression of courage. Love is the most healing energy that can soothe and ease pain when inviting it in its sacred space to be wrapped in.
So grief can be processed and transformed, we first need to find the strength within ourselves to face it, sit with it and embrace it. Seeing grief as an expression of Love softens its powers even though we might feel reluctant to invite it in and accept its presence within ourselves, as any forms of Love it evolves through time.
To gently approach grief, we must first invite compassion and self love to support ourselves while we face our pain in a healthy and meaningful way.
The love we feel for our loss also exists for ourselves and its in finding it, in caring for our broken hearts, in acknowledging our pain that we will transform and restore balance.
Practice self-love, self compassion, self care… Have a massage, take a bath lighting up some candles around you, reframe negative self-talk, start a therapy…
Who do you need to forgive? Have a healing meditation, get some support in this process.
Cultivate the energy of love through compassion, empathy, doing good deeds, having a gratitude journal…
Balance your heart chakra supporting the energy flow around this energy centre through deep breathing activities, energy healing practices, meditation, Yoga…
Make peace with your past so you can embrace your present and welcome your future.
Remember, it is never a one size fits all and you don’t have to do it all by yourself.
My name is Margot Pauvers, I’m a certified Holistic Coach and Energy Healer and I holistically support my clients through their healing journeys so they can create THEIR authentic success. Feel free to message me should you want to share your experience with me.