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  • margotpauvers

How to connect with your truth when you don't know what you want?

When we grow up being highly aware of other people’s emotions and don’t quickly learn to set healthy boundaries for ourselves, we tend to develop people pleasing behaviours along with high expectations for ourselves.

We don’t want our loved ones to be upset or disappointed, we don’t want to cause any troubles, we don’t want to feel any shame or guilt so we quickly determine what we think is expected of us academically, socially, emotionally…

By focusing so much on external responses, we disconnect from the internal responses that connect us to our authentic self.

And just like Julia Roberts doesn’t know how she likes her eggs in « Runaway bride », we don’t know what is true for us anymore.

What do I really want? What do I genuinely love? What is my fashion style? What am I truly looking for in a relationship? What task is the most fulfilling? What do I want to express?…

So how do we bring ourselves back? How do we awaken the authentic self again?

By listening to yourself.

Yes, thank you. I mean, we could all have guessed that…Right?

It’s not as easy as it sounds though. You may try and sit down quietly and tell yourself; ok so now I’ll forget about money, I’ll forget about people around me, I’ll forget about work and try to visualise what would a dream day look like? Where would you like to be living?…

And, surprise… nothing comes up. All you can say is, « I don’t know ».

Can I please start by saying that it’s OK ! You don’t have to have it all figured out and if you don’t know what you want just now, great! That means you’re about to open the door to several possibilities and that’s fun !

Even after years working in Personal Development, coaching and using countless alternative medicines, I still have foggy moments where I no longer know what is true for me or where my next step lies.

That usually comes to tell me I’ve gone a little too far in wanting to « be cool and flexible » or that I simply have accumulated too many repressed emotions or neglected my own needs.

In other words, that means my root chakra has been shaken. I’ve disconnected myself from the present moment preventing myself to feel whatever energies were going through me.

1 - That’s always were we start any healing journey. Before you can visualise your goals and make plans to take actions, it all start with your ability to say « I am here and I am safe ».

The root chakra is associated with our feelings of safety and security, both physical and

metaphorical. This includes your basic needs such as food, water and shelter, as well as your emotional needs.

It is the origin of your survival instinct, also known as the fight or flight response.

Balancing your root chakra will allow you to connect to the here and now but also to develop self mastery, feel grounded and stable, while you regain vital energy.

2 - To continue re-establishing the connection with your authentic self, you will want to face up to your truth by bringing up to light the things you’ve been trying to ignore…

Despite our mind trying to make us believe the contrary, deep down we always know what’s hurting, what’s wrong, what needs to change… We tend to ignore these truths about ourselves as we hold on to something we wish hadn’t changed.

Behind the fear of change lie the core wounds that cause your current discomfort.

Ask yourself: What do I know today that I wish I didn’t know? What am I afraid might happen if I am being true to myself?

3 - You’ll be surprised by what may come up from answering these simple two questions. As you see your answers written on your journal, you’ll also see the core wounds currently blocking your true self from shining through.

Now that you know which of your wounds are ready to be healed, you may want to take them through this Free Healing Meditation so you can reframe them and start visualising your life without them.

Let me know how that goes connecting with me on socials or through sending me an email to

You’ve got this !

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